Archive for January, 2010

Trust in God

Trust in God is something I’ve been learning for a while.  I can remember as a kid hearing my grandmother talk about a time in her life when she was struggling with doubt.  In prayer one night, she was sharing with God her doubts and asking for answers when she opened her bible incidentally to Proverbs 3:5 which read, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

Trust in God is something we often find easy to prescribe to others, yet difficult to dose for ourselves.  Maybe it’s because we’re not sure about what we should be trusting God with.  For instance, you might be disappointed if you trust in the Lord with all your heart for $1,000,000.  Why?  Because God never said he would make all your dreams come true.  But what did he say?  “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added to you.”  (Btw, ‘all these things’ doesn’t mean $1,000,000.  It means food, clothing, and shelter in the original context.)

Trust in God is difficult for us for many reasons.  One reason it’s hard for me is that I sort of have a sense of entitlement.  Like if I trust God that he will somehow give me all the main things I want.  And it’s hard knowing that he doesn’t have to do that.  And if he doesn’t give us the things we want, he will still be God and he will still be good.  I think the reason for some of this confusion is because of the mixed messages and prosperity gospels present in the church, but the same God that I serve who has blessed me with a college education and a car is the same God that my brothers and sisters in Kenya serve who wonder where their next meal will come from and if they’ll find work in the next year.

And that for me has been tough.  I don’t quite know how to reconcile all the things I saw in my travels last year with all the things I’ve seen in the states.  And more specifically in the American church.  I can’t justify as many things as I used to.  I don’t feel like I have a right to many of the things I used to take for granted.  And I’m not sure what to do about it.

Trust in God.  That’s what I’m talking about.  I think the main thing that I have learned is that it is most important to do the things that you know God has called you to do. . . whatever that means.  Because the gospel truth is that when Jesus’ glory is revealed in the last day, the sufferings we incur here will not even be comparable to the glory which will be revealed in us (Rom 8:15).  If I hear Jesus say, “Well done,” every dollar given away, every minute spent serving, every skipped meal, every sleepless night, every trial, every persecution, every thing will be more than worth it all.

Trust in God.  The other thing I’m learning is that he works things out.  They may not always come together on my timeline.  They may not always look like I had hoped.  I may freak out a bit during the process.  But, lately, every time I finally quit freaking out and trusting is right about when God. just. works. things. out.

In his own time, in his own way, how he wants it to look.  And it’s OK, because he is in control— and he is good.


I’m back again… maybe

How many times have I come ‘back’ to the blogosphere?  I’m not sure.  And I’m also not too sure why I left last time.

It might have had something to do with not having internet access in the guest house on the hill where I was staying.  Or maybe it was because of the new job, the new volunteer work, the new band, and the whole pastor thing.  It is probably safe to say I was a little overwhelmed.  Either way, the last few months have been very eventful, even though I haven’t really shared it online at all.

Rather than send random updates on my life out into internet oblivion, I think the only way this blog will survive is if I’m able to be a little more real.  I mean, if anyone reads, do you really care about what I did for dinner two nights ago?  No, you don’t.

So I think that means blogging as a type of online journal, a creative outlet.  I think that’s what needs to be done.  So that’s what I’ll do.